Sunday, January 23, 2011

Okay 2011 - Can we start over?

Talk about slacking off - could this really my first post of the not-so-new year? Holy crap, it is! Let me just say it's been a hellish last few weeks, to say the least. I hate to start 2011 on such a negative note, but seriously, can I just erase the whole month of January and start fresh?

I realize there's probably no one even reading this, after me being on hiatus for so long, but I wanted to at least check in and say, hey, I'm still here - just totally wrapped up in home wreckos renos, longer-than-usual commutes thanks to the lovely wintery weather, and dealing with my son's JK debacles.

My latest downward spiral started as expected, when we began renovating back in December. Being crammed in this god-forbidden basement hasn't exactly helped my creative juices flow - I haven't had much motivation to write lately.

I've also been dealing with leaky pipes, a malfunctioning furnace, a husband with a sprained hand and a very sick cat who had to be rushed to the emergency vet clinic last weekend. Pretty much anything that could go wrong, has.

Things started out smoothly enough, renovation-wise that is, until Hubby had his hand crushed by a 500-pound cabinet at work. Understandably, all renos came to a halt. There's only so much construction one can manage with a single working hand.

After resting up for a few days, back to work he went, cutting and moving vents and pipes all over the place. Then, we sprung a couple of leaks and water was shut off turned back on and shut off again; at one point we were down to one washroom. Not the end of the world, I admit. Small problems.

But, in the midst of our plumbing issues, the family cat was struck with one of his own. His urinary system became blocked, seemingly overnight. After a very expensive visit to the animal hospital, where they did as much as they could for him, we took him home. We tried in vain to feed and medicate him but he refused to eat, couldn't go pee and we could do nothing but watch him get weaker and weaker. It was heartbreaking to see him in such pain. The vet suggested we have him euthanized; he was almost 14, had heart and kidney issues and they didn't think he'd survive a surgery.

It was much harder on me than I thought it would be. After Ciaran was born, I didn't have time for playing and petting him, like I used to. I became annoyed with having to take care of him. It seemed like I was constantly cleaning up hairballs, cat puke or litter boxes, when I wanted to be relaxing or playing with my son in a nice, clean house. I made rude comments about how I wished he would run away and never come back or how I'd never get another cat after he passed away. The few times he did escape I'd end up worrying like crazy. And the house always felt different, more empty.

We got to say goodbye before he was sedated, but he wasn't the same. He was tired and feeble, not at all the feisty feline who had lived up to his name, Dr. Acula. I guess he knew it was his time.

I'm amazed by how much I miss that little furball. I keep glancing around at the floor, half-expecting him to brush against my legs as he saunters by. I miss his little face, always looking up at me expectantly, looking for a treat, or just some attention. I only wish I'd been more receptive. I like to think he knew he was part of the family, though. Whenever he did take off looking for a taste of freedom, he always did find his way back home.

We haven't broken the news yet to Ciaran. Tony and I disagree on how to tell him. I think we should tell him the truth - he'll learn about death sooner or later and this seems like a good opportunity to teach him. Tony thinks he's still too young, and has told him the cat has gone to a special "cat farm" until we've finished renovating our house.

I'm not sure who's right, but I don't know how much longer I can answer Ciaran's questions about where the farm is and who lives there. I tear up when he asks if Acci is chasing the other kitties. On the other hand, if there was such thing as a cat heaven, I'm sure that's exactly what he'd be doing.

RIP Dr. Acula
Best Friends


Anonymous said...

I have no advice. When I put one of my old dogs down, I didn't tell the kids, waiting til they noticed. They noticed, but were scared to ask why he was missing.

That was 2 years ago, and they still blame me for not telling them. It's hard.

Don't know you, really, but hugs. Losing a pet is never easy.

Deborah said...

I'm in the middle of an addition being put on our house so I totally feel your pain!

I'm so sorry about your cat. I've had to do that a few times in my life and it's horrible and hard.

Personally, I'd tell your child. Then they can deal with it and move on. And it's one of those inevitable life lessons we all have to learn. Harsh as it is.

Hugs to you and make the decision that feels right for you guys.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. About all the troubles and the kitty too. I've lost a couple of old beloved cats in the last few years and I still miss them. This is a tough age to figure out what to do. I guess I would tell him but keep it simple and maybe a kitty heaven farm is a good idea. Let him know the cat won't be back but let him think of him in a sunny, happy place.

Bibliomama said...

God, the rampant suckiness! Poor you. I would come down on the side of telling him the truth (but yeah, with a heaven chaser). Hope things improve for you. You're allowed to languish for months and months in my blogroll with no new posts before I abandon you.

Cheryl said...


I was getting worried.

Sorry to hear about your cat. My dogs are 10 and I'm not looking forward to having to make the tough decisions..

Mrs. Tuna said...

I'm so sorry about the kitty. Always so hard losing a pet. They are members of the family. Big hugs to you.

Meesh said...

Sending you son love from here xox

ModernMom said...

Oh hon this post made me cry! I am so sorry 2011 has been such a rough start. Yes, you get a do-over!

Pam said...

:-( What a crappy start to stupid 2011. May things improve dramatically from here! I hate how all the crappy stuff always seems to gang up on you at once. This would be your time to take from others any support you can get.

So sad to hear you lost your cat. Been there and it's tough. For us, the kids were told the truth with lots of warm fuzzy heaven perspective to it all. They were awesome and grieved and moved on. Best wishes to you all and look forward to your blogging whenever the time is right for you.

Sandra said...

Awwww, Pam, this is so sad. And then you drive the point home and post that adorable pic of Ciaran with the kitty...
Well I'm sorry for you loss.
Glad you're back! I was wondering what you'd been up to.

Pamela said...

Thanks everyone for your kind words & support - you guys are the bestest:)

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