Thursday, July 8, 2010

Intervention, anyone?

I am struggling with an addiction. It began in my childhood and has caused me to lie and scheme, suffer from crazy withdrawal symptoms and, since I've acquired a taste for only the best, most expensive stuff available, has cost me a fair amount of moolah over the years.

I've hoarded, gorged and pilfered it. And, since I've watched my fair share of Intervention episodes I'm quite certain that all of the above factors qualify me as an addict. But on the plus side? I'm no longer in denial. Today's the day I come clean.

Ok, so I'm not talking about drugs, alcohol or anything debilitating like that. But I am seriously addicted to...chocolate! You're probably saying, who isn't, right? I'm obviously not the only person on the planet who just can't get enough of the deliriously fantastic yummy-ness that is chocolate. I mean, just look at the selection in your local drugstore - it actually pains me to have to choose just one. I do prefer anything Swiss, but I will settle for pretty much any kind.

But not these!

Nope, I can't do the Big Turk. Those are just plain crap. I have a really bad association with them. Once, when my brother & I were at home sick (but apparently not sick enough to forgo candy), my father went to the store to buy us some ginger ale and chocolate bars. Big Turk chocolate bars. The first and last time I've ever eaten one. I don't even think I got past the first bite. My brother has appropriately called them "Big Turds" ever since.

But, just as I've never forgotten how horrible they tasted, I will also never forget my first introduction to the wonderful world of Lindt chocolate. I have my brother-in-law to blame thank for that. He lives in Switzerland and the first time I met him, over 14 years ago, he came bearing a huge plastic bag filled with little individually wrapped morsels of heaven. And at the first bite I was hooked.

My husband was amazed and I think slightly mortified that I took that huge bag and stashed it away, insisting that I didn't know what happened to them, as I consumed every last mouth-wateringly delectable piece. All by myself. That was my first inkling that I had a problem. I could not be trusted around that amount of amazingly good chocolate.

But I'm dealing with it. I only buy dark, organic chocolate now to satisfy my cravings. It's not as satisfying as the "good stuff" so I'll only have a small piece at a time. It's not the same, but the thought of me being stuck in a room with my entire family reading loving, yet stern letters about my toxic eating behavior is enough to stave me off my drug of choice, at least for now.

In one of my favorite Family Guy episodes, Brian sums up pretty much how I feel:


Cheryl said...

Is this where we discuss how whenever I went to Canada on business, I'd always buy a Mr. Big? I miss Mr. Big!!!

My Momma Drama said...

Oh, I love chocolate too!! My mom would always get me those boxes of the different types of chocolate filled candies. Ooo... I want one now. I loved going through them and eating my favorites, then stashing the rest of the box away for when I had a craving.

Umm... yeah, we can go to chocolate rehab together. Somewhere sunny... like Cancun or something!

Anonymous said...

ewww Big Turks are yucky, I always thought that is what bad kids have to eat when they've been bad, really bad.

The Mayor! said...

Lol...for me it's chocolate ice cream....the kids just know when I buy it, it's MINE!!! And I agree with Mombshell, Big Turks are a horrid excuse for a chocolate bar LOL!

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Sandra said...

See, we were so all meant for each other. I'd gladly trade my husband for one of those big-ass Toblerone bars!

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Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

As a person who has 2 Hershey with Almond bars stashed away that I have been keeping as a happy thought in the back of mind for when I am finished reading blogs I can totally relate. I am a junk- junk food lover though. I don't like the fancy stuff! But I think it is definitely time to head to my stash because I am ready now!

ModernMom said...

LOL I started my morning with a chocolate from the box at the side of my bed!! I understand your problem..I really do:)

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